It is often said forgive and forget, which I consider nonsense because we can’t swiftly program our minds to immediately forget the hurt or pain caused by another or circumstance. Swahili proverb, ‘Mwenye kovu sidhani kapona.’ It takes time.

Let us be realistic, a memory is like a mark and we often tend to remember things that have hurt us more than appreciate those that make us happy. The only difference is how long we choose dwell on each side; happiness or sadness.

Forgiveness is a virtue and in truth, we let go a lot of burden from our shoulders when we make forgiveness a choice. The real task is commitment to practice forgiveness to another despite the hurt. Often, there will be flashback memories, reliving our experiences of the hurt.

Instead of advising another to forgive and forget, how about we encourage each other to draw strength from the hurt hence bring the best in us. For one, we can consider the hurt a consequence of an action that we learned life’s lesson. ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Alternatively, you have a choice to choose whatever you receive from others. You don’t always have to digest every opinion from others of you. People will always have something to say, and if you are going to feel hurt, well it might as well be worth your time and emotions.

Either way, forgiveness comes easy depending on perception. Is it a task you owe another, or a duty to yourself ?

I don’t know either haha!